Men have such a different perspective on what women should do. Today still no word from Gator. I actually facebook stalked him today which was not any good. I think that I may have a problem, just a little one cause he is just taking too long to make up his mind. Its frustrating me. However, I was chatting with my friend, we will call him Dan Dan, and well he knew how heartbroken I was and upset over the Gator before he went home on vacation so he aksed me how it was going with the Gator. I told him that he had been acting like a douche-bag but it was a lot of back and forth. Then on New Years I got plastered and called him and make a complete fool out of myself which did not make the situation any better. And the Gator told me he was unsure of basically everything and that he didn't know what to do or to tell me on what he wants. So I told him to pretend I didn't exsist until he could figure it out and since ive been getting all antsy and he hasn't called me that I had made the decision to just email him and tell him all the things that I feel and then leave it as is. Dan Dan didn't think that was such a great idea. Wow, I thought it was an amazing idea, well more for some closure for me this way if he decided to give me the reject button I would have at least stepped forward and spoke my peace and did it first. HA!!! Dan Dan said NO!!! I cant believe him, he said no because I told Gator that to pretend I didn't exist so I need to let him do that, also that I needed to move on, and not just a regular move on but move on mentally. Go forward, don't look back, don't think about it anymore, and let it all go. So just in the event or the case if Gator decided to come back to me and figure out what he wanted, this would be a total shock for him and it would surprise him, which would work in my favor. Woah, that was a big slap in the face, im not ready to let it go and im definitely not ready to move on. I mean who am I going to move on to, I do not even have any sort of rebound guys to go to. That frustrated me and basically made me feel like this loser guy Gator is not going to come back, why would Dan Dan imply for me to move on, ugh.
So I am not completely over this but I did activate my match.com account. Which has worked out great so far, well at least for day one; we will see what the next few days have in store for me. I met this one guy from Cali, but he seemed kind of weird, like he didn't want to talk to me but was ready to yahoo chat and give me his number, and so on. So im not sure about this one, however he may be harmless only cause he doesn't live here. Also there is this other guy that I was chatting with before I got all serious with the Gator, so he had emailed me but since I cancelled my account so I didn't email him back but I did email him back and he emailed me back so maybe this guy will be my next catch. Who knows, we have been chatting back and forth for awhile now and finally he mentioned us meeting. So maybe me moving on will be easier than I think. I do miss the Gator though and wishes he would come back. : ( But for now I guess im just doing this and getting by and moving on like Dan Dan suggested for me to do. So my thought for today will be: it may not be easy but as long as you have someone to keep you entertained for the meantime or let you know that your worthy of company, then life starts to look up. I think more people die from loneliness rather than broken hearts. Which makes me feel that I need to start expanding my network of people and friends cause I don't want to be lonely.
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